For years when my girls were smaller, I stayed home with them. It was never something that I had planned to do, but when Addie was born and I looked into those deep blue eyes, it didn’t take long for me to realize that with her is where I wanted to be. I pulled up my mom jeans and that became my purpose.
After we got connected at our church, I was excited to get involved. It was refreshing to be appreciated and have another purpose. After a few years of volunteering, I was now on staff at my church working as Communications Director. I really enjoyed what I did. I loved the people I worked with. I loved working at my church. God had revealed gifts in me that I didn’t even know that I had! It was a huge blessing.
I’m not sure of the exact moment that it happened, but I felt a pull to stay home with my girls again. My priorities were out of whack. I found my time was mostly consumed and I didn’t have much left for them at the end of the day.
There’s that little voice.
Shame. I felt shame when I even considered talking about my thoughts of leaving. Who in their right mind would leave working at their church? You’re helping lead people to Jesus. You’re making an impact. I was also, worn very thin. The go, go, go life was really taking its toll on our family life. I knew that I had to tell my husband, but I stalled for quite some time. I’m really great at avoiding things. Especially hard things.
On the way back from a trip to see our parents, I finally told him. I tensed up and waited for the pushback. There was a little silence and then he said, “Amy if you feel like the Lord wants you to be home with the girls, that’s what you should do.” Whew. Huge relief. I couldn’t believe that I had worked myself up over that!
That began a season of prayer. We knew this was only in His timing.
Fast foward to December 2019. The time had come and I stepped away from working at my church and excitedly stepped back into being a full-time mom.
Change.
Ok God, I need you. Years of being heavily involved at church. All that time. This is what I was used to. This is what I knew so well. Will I remember how to do this mom job?
That same week, we discovered that our daughter had been hanging out with a few friends at school that were influencing her in a negative way. They were convincing her of things that had shaken her faith. Momma bear came out and that purpose in me? It was reassured.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. – Isaiah 55:8
I was 100% convinced in that moment that this was the reason that the Lord wanted me home with my girls. He wanted my attention on them. They are the ones that we need to lead to Jesus. They are where we need to make an impact.
Thank you Lord for these two purposes, Addie and Britton, that you have given me.