Have you ever felt alone in your struggles?
A few years ago, the inner battle that bound me inside ate away at my mood, my identity, and my life. It became what I thought was the norm. I wouldn’t talk about it, but accepted that it was “just the way I was”. Struggles with depression, anxiety and overcome by feelings of inadequacy were all a part of everyday life. With two little girls to take care of, I had to put on a happy face.
I had to suffer alone. Or so I thought.
God has a way of exposing issues to the light doesn’t He? You can push those things deep down, but He will find a way to grab your hurt and your pain and bring them up to the surface like a fishing bobber. No matter what we do, there is no keeping them below the surface.
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:7
God began revealing Himself to me. I was reading His Word and learning things about myself that I didn’t know. Like the fact that no matter what I have done, He loves me. Or the fact that I don’t have to be perfect. (Can I get a what, what?!)
I was going through the motions of what I could do for myself. Even with little bits of relief here or there, my anxiety remained inside, fighting to control my mood and emotions. I struggled for so long wrestling with my pride, shame, and similar demons. All on my own. There had to be another way. Journaling was big for me, but it didn’t talk back.
Counseling you say? Yeeeeeeeeeah…that would mean that I wasn’t trusting in God. Right? That’s how I felt anyway. It kept me from releasing what I was bottling up. I prayed for God to take it away.
He didn’t.
I could tell this was one of those lessons that God wanted to teach me by walking it out. I secretly hate that phrase. Walking it out sounds like a big old long walk in a ridiculously difficult park. However, sometimes God doesn’t move until you do. I started looking into counseling and asking around for recommendations for biblical counselors in my area. I found that several of my friends went to counselors. I wasn’t alone!
There is no shame in getting help for things that keep you from experiencing Jesus.
That is one of the enemy’s favorite moves. Anything that he can do to get us feeling shame or pride. Keeping those issues inside and thinking we’re the only one. Chances are that you are NOT the only one going through it.
It’s ok to ask for help. Whether it’s from a close friend, family member, or a counselor. It is ok to seek advice from others. Did you get that? It is OK! Make sure that it’s someone that you trust with your heart.
One of the best things that God has shown me over the last few years is that we are ALL jacked up. For real. There is not one who is righteous. God does not want us sitting around in despair. Reach out if you are in need. God places people in our life for these very purposes.
In the meantime, be sure to pray. Pray for the removal of all worry, anxiety, or depression. Pray for God to guide you to a person who can help you through it. Pray for His peace through your storm. Pray for His presence to wash over you and help you see that He is there.
I pray the same thing for myself often. Life is not without trials. I find myself needing help more often than not. I am thankful for the guidance and wise counsel of others. I will leave you with this verse that gets me every time. It’s a reminder that no matter what I’m going through, Jesus loves me so much that He went through much worse for me to be FREE of the very things that are weighing on me.
